Tales From the Hilltop
An intelligent, yet Devil's Advocate view of the world

Episode Three: Alimony and Child Support – The REAL weapons of mass destruction

Now, I’m more than sure that this episode will irk a lot of people. But before you start deciding that I’m an evil heretic and want to burn me at the stake, just hear it out.

It’s been said on more than several occasions that money is the root of all evil. This is especially true when it comes to families. Money can turn parents against each other; lack of money can make kids resent their folks. Money can breed jealousy between siblings that can last a long time, especially when they are fighting for heirlooms. We’ve seen that most recent with the late, great Dr. King’s children. But money it what the main idea is under both the laws that I consider to be mega reasons why families are disappearing and why marriage fade before they start…alimony and child support.

These two concepts of support just don’t fly with me in today’s modern world…or at least the practices of them. It seems like people are using them not for their general purposes of “support”, but as weapons to get revenge on a person whom they feel has betrayed them either in a marriage or in the raising of a young’un. I’ll try to break down each one, because my views for them are different as it pertains to each concept.

For those that don’t know, alimony is normally used as “spousal support” once a divorce has been filed. Normally, a person would have to pay another person a sum of money to keep them in an “accustomed lifestyle” or a percentage of their income. I don’t know about you, but THAT’s the main issue right there. Now, I could’ve sworn that everyone needs to be responsible for their own well-beings, should a marriage fail. That is to say, how was that person taking care of themselves before they got married? They couldn’t go back to doing this? Why must they – in essence – get the courts to in effect, lean on the other party to still treat them like they’re married when the marriage is over? Sounds like a slap in the face – as well as the wallet – if you ask me.

Personally, I am against the entire concept of alimony. If two people love each other enough to want to spend their lives together, then money should never come in the way of this. This is a huge reason why more than 51% of marriages fail. Folks are worried about what will happen if it doesn’t work. This is also why people are scared stiff of getting married, fearing that they may fall into a “trap”, where someone was only after them for money. Look, I’m not trying to sound sexist or anything like that, but there are plenty of gold-diggers and gigolos out who do this sort of thing everyday. Now, I’ll say this: if two people come together, both only having a little, and they build a nice empire for themselves together, then if they divorce, there should be no problem awarding half and half. But, if someone has millions going in, and the other person has relatively little compared to that (let’s say, oh $30,000 to their name) and upon the divorce, they get half, THAT right there, is an issue. Don’t believe me? Ask Nas. I’m sure he’s regretting his decision that he said “I do” right now.

Now, this episode wasn’t meant to bash marriage. I think two people who decided to take those vows are a wonderful thing; it’s what makes the world keep spinning. However, to ignore everything that can potentially happen with a union is say “If two people love each, then the finances shouldn’t matter” is ignorant, to say the least. Like I said, lack of equal fiscal responsibility can destroy a marriage. Now, with anything, there will be special circumstances. Certain people can’t go back to their lives after marriage if they have kids to take care of, and cases like those, special considerations need to take place for a period of time. However, my main gripe with alimony is that it can make people lazy, which have wrecked marriages to the point where no one wants to even get married anymore. Which brings me to my next point….

As you all know, the issue of child support is a very serious issue in America. Many people feel that it’s unfair, corrupt, and in most cases, has nothing to do with the welfare of the child(ren) in question. A lot of people feel that this is a bigger revenge tactic than alimony sometimes, used by one parent to get back at another, or that one parent may dangle in front of the other. You know those arguments: “If you leave me, I’ll take you to court for child support.”

Let’s clear the record on this (cause I know someone just threw something at the screen): I fully support the idea that both parents have to take care of their kids. If you created it, raise it. Period. Fellas, you can’t be considered a real man and you’ve got legions of kids out there, which you’ve seen and refuse to bring up in the world. That’s unfair to the rest of grown-ups who have to assume the responsibilities you should be taking. Ladies, you’re not a real woman if you’re running around, chasing men while your kids are going hungry. In that regard, the idea of child support is a useful and necessary tool. However, what seems to be happening is one parent gets stripped of the right to see their kids because the other parent puts their personal feelings for that parent in the way. Don’t front like it doesn’t happen. This comprises the integrity of the whole process.

I think this situation would be helped if the courts had a system where instead of the percentage of earnings are being looked at, it should be taken into consideration of how much parents are actually allotting for their kids though food, clothes, shelter, and anything else dedicated to that child’s upbringing. Even if a parent if making a substantial amount of income, do you really believe that $10,000 per month isn’t enough take care of one kid, as are seen with these high-profile child support cases? Do you think all that money is going toward the child? C’mon, I KNOW you people out there aren’t that naïve. So, this system seriously needs to be re-evaluated where one parent isn’t being fleeced and other is getting over. After all, there was equal partnership in making the baby; shouldn’t there be in raising it? But, if someone is doing what they need to do in order to help raise the child, should they be further punished by the other parent simply because they aren’t together?

I don’t know sometimes; I guess all the deaths that have happened over these situations aren’t wake up calls enough. Guys are murdering their pregnant girlfriends (or women they just happen to impregnate) because they are scared stiff of handling that responsibility. Women are hijacking kids across the country to get away from dudes who they feel their support wasn’t enough (which some have a legitimate claim to it – sometimes, I’ll admit). Women are being physically threatened to have abortions or attacked to cause miscarriages. In regards to all that, you’d think the courts would be able to recognize what is a genuine claim, and what seems to be a way to ploy/trap another person.

Or maybe I just don’t know any better, because I’ve never been married and don’t have kids…


2 Responses to “Episode Three: Alimony and Child Support – The REAL weapons of mass destruction”

  1. there are simply too many people in this country to utilize your solution to the problem. There isn’t enough time nor are there are enough state workers to really logistically handle all of the cases, so what happens, a basic rule gets applied to all. Bottom line, people should all just become republican and follow their paper based values. don’t fuck until you get married, stay married and unhappy, cheat with men or women…and be around to the little bastard turn 18, then your wallet will be free!

  2. to further add, if you owned a home, would you be happy for a substantial property tax increase in order to hire more workers for child support cases, abuse, etc and other sociological pressing issues…that would make you a communist!

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