Tales From the Hilltop
An intelligent, yet Devil's Advocate view of the world

Episode Thirty-Four: The Last (Single) Man Standing

I think I had a revelation this morning, which is what this episode will entail. This one goes out to the people that are holding the single status down. Mostly, what concerns me about being single past the age of 25 is why so many people seem to care why that status hasn’t changed with either a marriage or the birth of a child by then.

Most of the single people I know past this that age limit in their lives have already started planning their futures. Some have decided that eventually, they would either marry and/or bear children. I think I’m on the borderline of either of these concepts. There are some things I would like to have done (and places I would like to go) in my life before I decide to “settle down” into a family setting.  However, in this world of family-based…well, EVERYTHING…it’s seems that this thinking and rationale has all but become a foreign concept.

The general idea is that a man and a woman (or man/man, woman/woman, but that another episode for another day) meet, fall in love, and decided to make God’s ultimate commitment by pledging to each other and building a life together. For what seemed like up until the 1990s, this was the stereotypical view of what men and women did in society; get born, go to school, grow up, get married, start having kids, then the cycle starts over again.  Communities didn’t really look at people who were in their late 20s or early 30s and single, mostly because very few existed.

However, as people started to become more career-oriented, they started to think that having a family wasn’t in their best interest, so some people either held off on it or abandoned it completely.  That logic appeared to be good to them in their path to carve their life, even if mass thinking wasn’t the same.

As we are all aware, reproducing is needed for any species to survive form one era to the next. So, are the ones who decided to go against this for one reason or another ignorant to evolution, or simply not inclined to share those same sentiments? I believe people have decided away from marriage and kids for a lot of reasons.

First and foremost, not everyone is cut out to be a parent or a husband/wife. There are some people that simply don’t want to deal with living with another person or raising a child. Maybe they don’t have the capacity or tolerance to simply want to deal with one, the other, or both.  People like the idea of only having to be responsible for themselves and not having to adjust their lives to others until they see fit. They like the idea of waking up 10AM on Saturday moring and popping in a R-rated film in their living in their underwear without having to worry about someone ears getting corrupted. They like going to clubs on Saturday nights instead of Friendly’s or McDonalds for outings. It’s the ultimate sense of freedom to them, and they may think that a significant other or a young one will definitely curtail this.

Second, economically factors have influenced holding off on marriage and kids.  Divorces can get nasty and rather expensive. Alimony has scared many a couple from marriage. This is true especially in the case of children.  Children can cost up to $200,000 from pregnancy to age 18 to raise. That definitely becomes a factor when people start to look at planning a future with a family. Also, with rampant teen pregnancies and the notorious “baby mama drama”, many single folks observe this and decide that they don’t want to be a part of that demographic of single or unmarried with children.

However, I believe the biggest reason people don’t rush into these things that they want to be defined by something more. Everyone has achievements in their life they are most proud of; some could be winning championships, some it’s graduating and becoming a lawyer or doctor, while others it’s having a child to call their own. There’s nothing with that at all; everyone has their own goals. The thing with that is, the people who aren’t married or who don’t have kids would often like to be acknowledged for  whatever it is they have done with their lives for rather what they haven’t. Everyone doesn’t have the same way of thinking to believe that being single all your life meant you are selfish, irresponsible, or ungodly, nor that something was wrong with you for not conforming to family-oriented thinking.

Besides, with the world’s population spiraling out of control, natural resources being depleted at near warp-speed levels, and the general dummying down of society (sounds like the movie “Idiocracy”…I recommend you watch this), people have decided simply not to bring other life forms into this world to be subjected to this life. It’s a harsh a cruel world out there; alot of people (myself included) have come to the conclusion that simply adding a significant other or a kid to it doesn’t automatically make it any more easier to live with than without. That’s the meaning here. But, to each their own.       

1/11/2011

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