Tales From the Hilltop
An intelligent, yet Devil's Advocate view of the world

Episode Fifty-Four: The Male Sewing Circle Influx

It’s pretty incredible how social media has “evolved” all of us. It’s made us more aware of the world, it’s brought us closer to everyone we care about, and it’s open the doors to find out more about people than we’ve wanted to admit. Unfortunately, with all this awareness, has come a horrible thing for men: gossip. TONS of it.

This episode will focus on the now-most famous camera-captured elevator fight since Ray Rice went all Little Mac from Punch-Out on his fiancé; the fight known as Solange Knowles vs. Jay-Z. No, this episode will not be about what started the fight, or why Beyonce stood there and did nothing, nor the skills that bodyguard had in (somewhat) successfully keeping the younger Knowles from Chun-Li kicking S. Carter in the Carter jewels. In fact, this episode isn’t about the four people in the elevator at all.

It’s about YOU. And by you, I mean the men that have seemingly wasted 24-48 hours of their lives dedicated to finding out everything there is to know about why this happened.

Now, I’m not trying to be sexist or anything, but I’ve heard more of the male population take the stupefying low road here and turned into domestic dispute detectives to find out the details than the female populous. I’m actually quite baffled at this.

WHY??? Seriously, as a man, why it is my business to find out why a private moment (albeit caught on videotape) happened? Why is any of ours? Men, I’m not getting this? Someone help me out, here…seriously.

Now, I admit; I had a joke or two, like the next person did. That’s also what social media has done; seemingly brought out everyone’s inner comedian. However, where’s the line between harmlessly commenting on a hot issue, and trying to go to bat for a side to an issue that has nothing to do with anyone? This all seems like a colossal waste of time for a myriad of reasons:

1)   If you know that couple, damage control is working overtime to make sure this is all forgotten in eight days or less. More than likely, it’ll work. In two weeks, no one will know…or care…. this happened, and Jay will still have the ‘Michael Jordan Teflon Don Pass’ the public (mostly dudes) has bestowed upon him.

2)   For all those people that can’t stand either Jay-Z or Beyonce, they have no idea you exist outside of hate tweets.

3)   For all those people that love one or both of them, whatever music they put out next, this incident won’t feel not one shred of affect on it. NONE.

OK, I guess I have to explain the sexist rationale of this episode; look, I’m not even mad that this whole thing has been #1 on the female attention span. Unfortunately, gossiping is more reserved for women, and much more tolerated by women as their unofficial sport. Not being a pig here; I just calls it how it is. Dudes getting this involved in a story that’s not really that big of a story have seen male sewing circles sprout up like hotcakes. What’s next? I’m actually too scared to find out. This is a prime reason why males in America are losing respect around the world by the day.

Men, we are better than this. And there’s sooo many more things that need our attention than another celebrity family blow-out….like our OWN families, for one.

I’m going to leave all you XY-chromosomal laden folk (that’s men for the scientifically ignorant) to words of Nene Leakes when she told Peter about himself for meddling in women-like affairs:

“You need to stop trying to roll with the damn women, OK? You need to stop trying to be a damn bitch!”

Honestly. Chill with this, yo.




One Response to “Episode Fifty-Four: The Male Sewing Circle Influx”

  1. I was just talking to one of my employees. for some reason I allowed this incident to impact my personal life. my wife asks me “what would you do if were Beyoncé?” Why are we even playing the what if game? what relevance does it have to feeding OUR family, payin OUR bills?

    you have again struck a nerve Mr. Brown.

    -your number 1 supporter… Mr. Parkay!!

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